I wrote the following in October of 2011. Almost to the day of my year anniversary.....of becoming a Step Mother to 4 young children. A set of triplets, now age 10. And a (now age) 12 year old. I think my reasoning behind posting this on this particular day is in honor of all of you Mother's out there. Just remember that anyone can be a mom, but it takes a certain someone special to be a Mother. I hope you'll take note in all the energy I put into this. I'd really be curious to hear your take on such...energy. I'll give you a hint. I'm trying to "draw" from a child. A letter which I never presented to them.
May your children bless you daily and may you embrace selfless laughter at their silliest stories. Happy Mother's Day.
Lessons If You Listen
The decision to surrender the rest of my body, mind and spirit unto this day was deliberate. To sacrifice myself, in order to redeem someone else’s worth, will in the end prove healthy and hopefully we’ll soon see some changes in gratitude for my efforts.
I rarely ask from anyone anything in return. However, this time I believe it would benefit both that are involved. Give unto me as I’ve given unto you. Present to me your awareness but no need to ask for my forgiveness. Respect me even though you are a child. Growing up in such a complex world even I can’t explain to you, nor understand. But, that doesn’t justify unwarranted or unacceptable behavior.
Open up to me while continuing to be your self. There is no need to hide behind walls or be the tough kid on the block. Value yourself and really get to know your abilities and capabilities. Take responsibility for your actions and feel good about it. There should be no humiliation in digging deep. So please do not try and take the easy way out for there is no easy way. Trust in these words for I’ve lived them. I’ve tried them.
The only reason I am writing to you this eve is because I genuinely care. I am willing to be taken by the wind and be struck by the bolts of lightening that taunt me. I have no problem with the mist cascading over my tired being and the thunder rolling loudly in my consumed mind if it gets us to where I wish we could be. Some day.
The time is now if you wish for it. Take control of your destiny. Stop and think about what you are most likely taking for granted. I have no problem explaining to you what I mean by that statement. Please ask if you do not understand. Finding the light in such dark circumstances has proof of challenges but if it were easy, everyone would do it. Never give up on yourself. Meet and greet your desires with a strong heart and structured mind. Embrace each day and look at it as a blessing, not a right. It’s a reward earned, it is not an award. You are only deserving if you can thankfully and graciously receive constructive criticism, for it honestly is in your best interest.
Look, listen and feel. Don’t continue to strive for mediocre. You can be the best of the best and I know you feel this. You simply don’t know how to achieve this, or most importantly convey it. I’ll offer you this hint of advice. It’s called work. Everyday we are alive we are met with obstacles. Everyday more from us is required. Are you up for it?